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madame
hi there, this is me, the owner, CADEN YAP a.k.a the singapore no.1 bastard
birthday falls on 24th MARCH every year


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Friday, December 30, 2005 10:45 PM
moodless right now. want to vent everything in this blog. this afternoon, the mood was not very good liao. because whatever i have arranged is not happening. wasted my efforts, my bills, my transport fee and my TIME! i think this month, my calling time will exceed tremendously. feel like asking my dad to cancel everything and don't give me any more handphone. stupid man. this is okie. but i'm totally upset when the people does not have the responsiblity to come and tell me what was happening. if i had not meet one of the person, i will be waiting there like some idiot. can't you guys just have the responsiblity to tell? idiotic man. so i was too upset that i showed some attitude. argh. and the reason why i didn't follow you down to sembawang is because i cannot tolerate anymore. this is the stupidness that i'm trying to tell myself to cool down and not to vent my anger. so i went home. wasted one hour on the transport. so went to sleep. til 5pm. woke up and started my revision. everything was fine. i got everything into my head. but something happened again!

what a bad day. i shan't elaborate what went wrong. but i really got no mood. nearly tear just now. sigh. wells, what to do. hais. everything will end soon. tomorrow, if not 11th jan. i will try every ways to tell myself what i need to do. ever since that day,15th december, i have been forcing myself to do it. but somehow, i cannot. right now, i'm finding reasons, reasons that will help me with this decision. you asked me not to think too much, but i'm sorry, i cannot help, but to think. because many things happened in the conversation that we had, even though we have got nothing to say. however, even if you think nothing is wrong, i beg to differ. i just find that things are wrong right from the start. i should not have ask you to be my ** when we aren't that close, and i have yet to understand you. i regretted this decision. this rash decision. all i wanted, is to know you more. take care, all the best.

now is even more sucky, my computer is so damn slow. idiotic. this few days i've been so hot tempered. i'm like easily irritated. i guess it is really time for me to put down everything and concentrate on the NEW YEAR. a brand new start. but still, i cannot stop myself from being concern with the things that is happening right now. argh. hate myself.

i will let you go too. since i have decided to have a whole new life. hopefully i can do it. but nonetheless, i want you to be happy. nothing else, but happy.

it is not good to keep everything inside your heart, because the longer you do so, the more internal injuries you will get. shout it all out!
tomorrow is 31st december le. doubt i will be coming home after HEART AWARDS/CREATE 2005. so will stay out till the next day. my dad said there's a dinner on 1st. so i was like, OKIE!!FINE! go then go lor. hais. now no mood, i just go and browse throught my CHEMISTRY then. buais everyone.